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Tech Writing Resume Bloopers
Ahem. As we said on our
Writing Your Resume page, if anyone in the entire universe ought to have a perfect resume, it's a
technical writer. They're supposed to be expert writers and fanatically obsessed
with technical accuracy and relevance. For your viewing pleasure - and for your
edification - we offer the following examples of resume bloopers, plain
mistakes, typos, bad writing, and strategic errors. All of these gems are real.
(We don't need to change the names, because the resumes went into the trash can
as soon as we transcribed the various sins you're about to see.) Don't do what
these people did when you look for a job as a tech writer!
- I have no writing experience at all, but I was born in Scotland. [Ah,
you speak English!]
- I am current responsible for standardizing. [And you can stay current
where you are, not here.]
- Able to set and meet goals in a fast past environment. [Fast past
sounds nostalgic.]
- Computer Base Trainer. [Is this someone who trains using phone books to
boost the monitor height?]
- Maintain 98% total quality accuracy. [Wow. Sort of like 2% milk?]
- Went to a seminar on software quality. [Did you, now?]
- Company X is a company started by a friend of mine. [So now we know how
you got hired. And is this how you treat your friends?]
- I am superior at ... [Good for you. Oops, we mean superior for you.
Tone it down, please.]
- As a freelance consultant, I was engaged to be do the technical editing.
[To be do? Are you related to Frank Sinatra?]
- I have also had my fiction published, so hiring me would be like hiring
several writers for the price of one. [You mean you can write novels on
company time? No, thanks.]
- Wrote a large on-line users guide help system. [And now you wrote a
resume document file nonsense.]
- Wrote a very successful manual that allowed this system to be placed on
another manufacturers widget. [Good, and we wish you even greater success
in apostrophe school.]
- I am interested in a position where I can develop a synergistic
relationship. [With what?]
- Developed cirriculums. [No doubt you did this when you worked at the
circis.]
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